(A story of resistance and surrender) The next morning it rained. I buttoned up a warm jacket and set out to find my feet again. Sleepless eyes squinting at the fine mist, I walked with the company of the question: had it really happened? It had. You made me want what...
Befriend your body. Rewrite the story of your life.

This is
Relationships

To Leonie, Age 7 (take 2)
Every year on my daughter’s birthday I write her a love letter. One day maybe she will want to read them. My sweet girl, I had written an entirely different letter for you this year. It was complete and perfect in its expression of love for who you have been in my...
The Wisdom of Resistance
Come close, dear. I have a secret to share. Your resistance contains wisdom. Multitudes of wisdom. Like a chest filled with golden, glistening treasures. You just need to stop shutting the lid if you want the gems. Now, I know what you’re going to say. But Sonja, you...
Look at Yourself: A Practice of Self-Love
The greatest acts of self-love take the form of holding dear the parts of us we would rather not admit exist, much less look at with kind eyes. Yes, falling in love with what we think of as our most shameful, horrific parts is exactly the spell needed to break the hex...
I Pray for You
I pray for you every night in the way of the old religion. By which I mean I slip into your bedroom window just after you’ve fallen asleep. I sidle up to your resting form and lay my hand on your arm. You are steady, heavy, almost peaceful (if you can believe that)....
The Wisdom of Intimacy
Let’s face it: we need each other. Intimately. So why are you keeping your distance? I have close to 1,000 friends on a popular social media site I rarely visit. In the last year, I have spoken on the phone to perhaps eight of these people. It is this select group,...
How to Have a Perfect Body
I’ll admit it: the first time I was in a room with 900 naked women was a shocking experience. I was shocked because I was in a room of 900 naked women. But that was only a fraction of what peeled my eyes open. As I gazed upon the cornucopia of bodies – different ages,...
Bury me
If you want to know me, as you say that you do, then follow me into the deep, dark wood. Find me resting in the spongy, loamy soil. That place where your feet will practically bounce on the beds of three hundred generations of leaves. You will wonder if you...
A Room of My Own
(listen to the audio version) I want to thank my husband, Robin, for teaching me the most valuable lesson I’ve ever learned about the need for space in relationships. Like all valuable lessons, I learned this one the hard way. When he moved out of our shared bedroom...
When to Say Yes
When it hits your body like a wave crashing against the shore. When you finally step out of the fog. When you can barely hold yourself in your seat the moment you see it. When the butterflies making a home in your belly dissolve like vapor in the sun. When it feels...

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“On this path effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure.”
The Bhagavad Gita 2:40