There is a world in which I never fully existed, one that will always be yours and not mine. Which is another way of saying that you died before you could tell me all your secrets. Maybe I am there with you in some way. In a wisp of memory you held as your light faded...
Befriend your body. Rewrite the story of your life.

This is
Self-love

The Wisdom of Desire
An astrologer once told me to be careful what I ask for, because I will likely get it. This was in reference to a sweep of stars and planets in my birth chart, a pattern that showed him my power to bring into fruition my desires. It’s a big responsibility to work...
Erotic
You are an erotic being. You will always be an erotic being. Even before you took the form of your thighs, your lips, the inner arc of your elbow, you were the erotic. Yes, that dancing iridescent purple flash above the lovers your parents once were is and always will...
When I Say I Want You
When I say I want you... What I mean to say is that there’s a special tree in a grove of oaks that towers over me on my daily walk. His gaze, like a guardian beast, leaves me breathless. Though I am dressed in wool and leather, under his shadow I am as bare as...
The Wisdom of the Muse
Do you ever forget yourself? Put differently, do you ever forget your capacity for greatness, for self-expression, for being a valuable member of your chosen community? Do you forget yourself as an artist? A thinker? A creator of new ways? If your memory is a little...
On Aftercare
This piece is part of my monthly series, The Spiritual Side of Sex. Read more like it here. It’s a known, but often unsaid, thing: sex opens us up in a way that nothing else can. Physically, emotionally, spiritually – we come open. Sometimes we are ripped open....
The Wisdom of Resistance
Come close, dear. I have a secret to share. Your resistance contains wisdom. Multitudes of wisdom. Like a chest filled with golden, glistening treasures. You just need to stop shutting the lid if you want the gems. Now, I know what you’re going to say. But Sonja, you...
The Wisdom of Intimacy
Let’s face it: we need each other. Intimately. So why are you keeping your distance? I have close to 1,000 friends on a popular social media site I rarely visit. In the last year, I have spoken on the phone to perhaps eight of these people. It is this select group,...
How to Have a Perfect Body
I’ll admit it: the first time I was in a room with 900 naked women was a shocking experience. I was shocked because I was in a room of 900 naked women. But that was only a fraction of what peeled my eyes open. As I gazed upon the cornucopia of bodies – different ages,...
Touchable Sadness
My wish for you is simple: may you never experience pain. Or sadness, or grief, or terror, or the anger that too often masks these emotions. But that is a false wish, the type that I might have made one adolescent evening only to forget it the next day. It is...

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Erotic Alchemy
Transform the story of your sexual self
“On this path effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure.”
The Bhagavad Gita 2:40