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A common misunderstanding that I see amongst people who are looking for guidance is that they believe that their life should be easy all the time. But this is a marketing campaign, not a reality.  

The purpose of life is not to be happy all the time, but to have experiences. How we relate to these experiences – the positive ones, negative, or in between – creates the story of our life.

Our pleasure and pain are our greatest teachers. Each, in their own way, gives us the chance to understand who we are and what we want. 

We love the pleasurable moments – they create meaning and joy if we can open fully to them. But life isn’t just the good stuff. Sitting with our greatest pain – opening to a tender exploration of  why we hurt this particular way – shows us what we really want.  

Weave together the teachings of pain and pleasure and you’ll end up with a legendary kind of life.

People who work with me usually have been in a state of chronic suffering for years. Whether it is chronic mental or physical illness, chronic relationship “failure,” or chronic inability to voice what they really want, they have an underlying belief that their bodies are betraying them. 

Stuck battling desires for food, relationships, or experiences and the unwanted outcomes of these urges, they blame their bodies for leading them astray. They often become overwhelmed, numb, indifferent, or angry. In doing so, they believe they are protecting themselves from more pain, but they are also denying themselves a friendship with their body that defines healing. 

Our bodies can’t betray us. They are simply vessels for our experience and have no agenda that is not inherently our own. Rather than resist the fantasies and urges that plague our minds, we can see them as messengers. They are here to teach us, to show us what we truly want and don’t want. The body is the conduit for our deepest desires.