This post is part of the series called The Spiritual Side of Sex.
What if proof that intuition exists can be found on any dating app?
A friend texted me recently about a date he’d gone on. How was it? I asked. She was pretty, he said, but there was no chemistry.
This word – chemistry – is everywhere in conversations about sex and relationships. These invisible sparks that draw us to touch someone or run the other way are so strong that we know in the first few minutes of a conversation whether it’s a yes or a no. Yet even though this energy has no system to measure it or tool to make it appear, we accept it exactly as it is. That’s quite a turn from how people generally respond to the notion that we can read energy.
So don’t listen to me when I say that psychic powers exist, just ask your body on your next date.
Proof of Intuition
I often say that everyone is intuitive, but it’s rare that I can point to a near universal experience that proves its existence. But put the most skeptical person among us on a date and ask them about chemistry and they will very easily identify – with absolutely no rational inquiry – an energy that does or does not exist there.
Chemistry is a magnetic force that draws us to another person, even if the attraction is wrong or impossible. Chemistry is what makes us leave ho-hum relationships, quit jobs, fly across the country, and more. It’s what makes us stay up all night and forget to eat because we are too busy staring at our beloved.
Given how many people are willing to lose their minds over something that cannot be seen or held, but only sensed by the body, couldn’t we just start admitting that intuition exists?
The Sixth Sense
I’ve said it before, if you want to get in touch with your intuition, forget everything you know.
For the skeptical minds among us, intuition is hard to believe in. Maybe that’s because intuition does not exist in the mind; its playground is the body. Its home is not in reason or logic, but in the felt sense, an animal-like knowing of our yeses and nos.
Its role is to guide us, offering valuable insight that can appear at times crazy to the rational mind. Intuition leads us on wild journeys, but follow them to the end and you’ll realize they’re the kinds of experiences that show you how sane you actually are.
Sex and the Sixth Sense
Like intuition, sex and attraction also live in the felt sense. When we are drawn to someone, our bodies send us signals that can range from subtle to painfully obvious. This might feel like tingling, warmth, openness, or melting when an attractive person shows up in front of us. While the typical signals of intuition tend to be quieter, the messages of chemistry show up in much louder ways.
Maybe it’s not the volume, but our willingness to listen to intuition when it comes to sexual attraction. We might be tone deaf when looking for guidance in other parts of life, but we are willing to acknowledge our bodies’ nudges toward someone because, let’s face it, sex makes us pay attention.
What You Want
The language of intuition, the part that makes us notice sexual attraction and other interesting aspects of life, is desire. The first step of “I want” is a sensation, a lightning flash of intuitive communication. Unless we are trained in noticing, this shift from intuition to action is immediate. Intuition speaks so quickly that we may not have realized it’s spoken.
These desires, as knee-jerk as they are, demonstrate that our intuitive abilities are always with us. As we swipe right on one person, left on the other, we aren’t being fickle – we are answering a direct call from our innermost guidance.
Yet just because it happens so quickly doesn’t mean it always has to go unnoticed. Like all things, intuitive skills take practice. Everyone has the raw power to sense energy and know if a person is good for us or not, but until we train it to work for us, it’s not operating at its full potential.
On Again, Off Again
Chemistry, just like desire and intuition, doesn’t turn on and off by choice. We don’t get to choose who we like. We don’t get to choose if they like us. But, given the unseen power that is obvious in any good kiss, we can trust that whatever is guiding us is acting on something greater. So it’s worth leaning in, listening, and finding out what it’s trying to say.
But before you take this as a sign to rush into something – or someone – know that intuition’s signals must be interpreted. The chemistry between you and another person might be a sign to move forward, or it could be a signal to revisit a part of yourself that would be healed from walking away.
How to know which way to go? Listen to the same voice that got you there. (And stay tuned for next month’s piece in this series because I’ll tell you more about exactly how that works.)