I spent the better part of this weekend without the dopamine drip that comes from my Instagram feed, the result of having my account taken down by the new world that looks like 1984.
My digital detox was not by choice. It was quite the opposite of what I would have chosen.
Like many coaches, I rely heavily on IG for my livelihood. Like many coaches in the intimacy space, I use words that are often flagged by the broad strokes of the bots who comb our feeds.
And like many coaches in this space, while I blur the lines, I also understand what it is I am and am not up to on that page.
So it was quite a hit when I got an email saying that I was being shut down for allegedly joining the world’s oldest profession.
I remember a feeling of numbness taking over my body when I read the email. A buzzing in my ears. This is my income. My profession. My voice.
And then I remembered, they can shut down my Instagram page, but they’ll never turn off my inner authority.
I quickly remembered that one of my teachers recently set up a group chat for those of us who are facing this problem (it’s happening at shockingly higher rates in recent months). I jumped on and immediately got two names of hackers.
As I sent a strange Russian man all the passwords my terms of service told me never to share, I realized that I am not as powerless as the boys in charge want me to believe.
Indeed, we are stronger than ever. Or else, why would they be trying so hard to silence us?
I teach the power of the erotic. This is life force. It is no different from the prana that yoga teachers refer to, or the qi that an acupuncturist harnesses.
That life force is what we need to make this beige world a lot more colorful. It is what makes us have the inner authority to stand up and push back against a personal invasion just as easily as we can pull someone into a deep embrace when it’s time to celebrate.
And when we have that life force, we realize that no one can give this to us or take it away. That’s the root of the true revolution.
I write and teach about intimacy and eros because I want more people to understand what it’s like to own your power. To not believe the lie that we have to give it up. To use it to create the kind of life that is exactly aligned to your dreams.
And IG shutdown or not, I’m not going to stop saying this.
What I will say is this: The day my hacker gave me the keys to my account again, I was speaking with a client. Her dreams had been filled with anxiety. But in her waking hours, she couldn’t find the one she was afraid of, so she was starting to turn on herself.
The greatest trick they’re pulling, I told her, is making you think that you’re the problem.
As the world as we know it ends, it will take everything in us to remember to relax our jaws and drop our shoulders. To reach out for another’s hand and remember that we need each other. To lean in for deep kisses and let yourself fall in love with love even when it seems like terrible timing.
But this is what will get us through this. It is, indeed, the only thing.
