Here’s a bittersweet pill on your screen: We cannot love without losing.
I discovered this when I was writing my book, Letters to My Lovers. And when I first felt this sword in my throat, it stung. Until I learned it didn’t have to.
So let me show you how to swallow this truth with a smile.
Like love, loss comes from many sources. We lose when a relationship ends through death or other natural causes. We lose when we have to give up our independence in order to be in a relationship. We lose when identities fall away as love shines a light on what is really ours to hold.
But we are far more resilient than we think.
In other words, we have the capacity to open fully to love, to let it transform us, and to let it go when the time is right (however that time comes).
To love wisely teaches us that with every expansion comes a contraction, just like winter follows summer. Neither season is better than the other – each offers something valuable.
And here’s the secret that makes this all palatable – when we expand our capacity for pleasure, it makes the pain more bearable. (The inverse is also true, btw.)
I’ve been busy testing this theory through a trial run of a new program, The Heartbreak Cure.
Over the past three months, I’ve had women beta testing the course (which includes both online teachings and 1:1 time with me) and have heard feedback like:
“So many good wisdom nuggets”
“Literally every woman (and man) needs to hear this”
“OMG – that was powerful and exactly what I needed to hear”
“I finally understand why I couldn’t get over him”
This is the result of going through a program that orients us toward pleasure as a way to move through the pain.
In the next few weeks, I’m going to share a bunch of free offerings, discounts, and special announcements about this course (because this is the biggest thing I’ve put together since my book – and there’s more I’m going to add).
But before any of that, I want you to sit with this question. Let it be a journal prompt, a point of contemplation on your meditation cushion, or a reply to this email.
How would you love if you didn’t fear the pain of losing it?
May this question lead you to make love in a time of war.
