One of the central teachings I received from nearly all my spiritual studies is this: I should not want what I want.
I sat at the feet of yoga teachers and Eastern philosophers who told me over and over again that desires are traps of the mind. Wise ones, I was told, turn away from what they want and surrender to whatever the divine delivers to them instead.
But the desirous one in me could not swallow this whole. After all, these same teachers told me that the divine is present in all things. So how is it absent in my desires?
Spoiler alert: it’s not.
If desire isn’t the evil apple we’ve been taught, what is it here for?
Turns out, it’s a map to holy ground.
As I’ve studied with teachers of the feminine spiritual path (aka, the body) I’ve learned two truths about the real nature of desire.
First, we don’t get to choose what we want to want.
Your tastes are as unique as your fingerprints. If you look at them closely enough, they all lead you to your longing for connection – to the divine, to the Self, to the world. This is true even for the “lowest” of your wants. I dare you to prove me wrong.
Second, desires aren’t always a to-do list. We may not get to pick what lights our hearts on fire, but we do get to pick what we do with that flame. Every desire deserves your attention, but not all should be followed. Pay attention and you’ll learn to see some will lead you home and some will lead you astray.
When I ask a client to keep a desire journal or train her to watch how her energy leans toward this or that, I’m offering her a way to see what hidden motives drive her, the unspoken values she’s standing for, what part of her is dying to shine. But the most powerful part of the healing is when she gets to choose what to do with all she’s discovered. That never fails to feel like a victory.
Desire work is not antispiritual – it’s a central part of the feminine path. So don’t turn away so quickly from what calls your name. Listen more closely – it might be the most important mediation you do all year.
Here’s more to come if you want it:
Feminine Wisdom: Acting on Embodied Desire
October 1, 11 am PT
Free to attend
