Befriend your body. Rewrite the story of your life.
Letters to my lovers
A Memoir of Love and Loss
This book is for anyone who wants to believe in love again. But not love the way it’s being sold. This is not about fairy tales and Hollywood romances, but trusting the true nature of love, one that is as glorious as it is brutal.
Part confessional memoir, part erotica, part tutorial on how to turn heartbreak into fuel, this book will redefine how you see love and manage the inevitable loss that comes with it.
In 25 intensely personal love letters and an essay that offers an alternative to modern romance, you’ll learn what it means to risk everything for love and live to tell the tale. More than just secrets from the bedroom, this book is a guide to creating real intimacy in an increasingly closed-off world.
“I swear to goddess that your book obliterated my anxious attachment style”
People often ask me how long it took to write this book. My answer is always the same – a lifetime. Letters to My Lovers is a book that documents the experiences I’ve had as I took the risk of opening my heart – and legs – to give and receive love.
This memoir is an honest documentation of the journey I’ve taken, one love at a time, to understand what makes intimacy worth it despite all the bruises relationships leave on our skin.
Love is a skill, one that is both learned and innate. As more people grow apprehensive of love and intimacy, this book is an offering for those who want to trust again.
“The book is more than you think, it’s a gem of wisdom and of poignant conversations with love, loss, grief and hope. I really enjoyed it and would highly recommend.”
Join the Lover’s Revolution – Sign up for The Heartbreak Cure
Inspired by Letters to My Lovers, The Heartbreak Cure is a companion course to lead you through the journey of learning to turn your pain into power.
In six modules (with accomanying 1:1 sessions), you’ll learn to reclaim your power from past relationships, harness the wisdom you gained, and become undevastatable in love.
You’ll learn practices and tools that I’ve personally used to heal from heartbreak and transform myself into a Love Goddess (a process I’ve guided countless clients through).
The answers are inside you – you just need to listen.
In Your Words
“I am a changed person because of Sonja and so are my relationships.”
"I was surprised by how well Sonja really listened to me, and not just my words. She is present, and thus can find the deeper expression among all the rambling and 'I don’t knows.'"
"Sonja is a wise, authentic guide teaching deep and mind-blowing truths using a fun, light-hearted approach.
After each session, I feel more in touch with my intuition and filled with optimism."
The Journal
How motherhood slowed me down
It’s just after 1:00 p.m. My three-year-old daughter and I make the slow walk from her school back to our home. It is a walk that takes me seven minutes alone, but with her, we take about a half hour. It’s filled with questions: What’s that flower? What’s under that pile of leaves? Why is that man walking? And of course, there is time to say hello to her friend Gustavo, who owns the hardware store down the street.
This is her time. A time to meander and to not be pushed. A space to become fully immersed in that timeless state of childhood that I am sad to admit is not possible in all other parts of her day.
When the clock strikes midnight
I’m not going out tonight.
We have an invitation. A party under the stars and next to a fire, filled with people we love. But I am tired. So I will stay in instead.
The revolution
My daughter called to me from her carseat, her voice tinged with sleep. The four-hour drive to our new home in a small Mexican town was overlapping with her naptime, but there was no other way to do it. The road was empty except for us, so I picked her up out of her carseat, wrapped her in my scarf, and nursed her to sleep on my lap. As she dozed in my arms, I watched a dog take off running at top speed along a row of restaurants. Something about the freedom of its movement, unhindered by cages or leashes, stirred some ancient part of me.